Lost and found… (an excerpt from my ebook)

Posted on: Monday, August 11, 2014

In the past, I have been stedfast in my determination to follow the crowd.  My wanting to fit it was smothered in desperation and desire to feel accepted somewhere.  Anywhere.

Any kind of love I had for myself was pretty non-existent, so I tried to seek that love through others.  Friendships, family members, relationships.  I needed to belong.  To know I was enough.

But when we seek externally for the things we truly need from ourselves, we will always be a little lost.

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At 15, I just wanted to be “cool”.   I thought that being cool meant that you snuck cheeky drags of a cigarette behind the oval at lunchtime – so that’s what I did.  Being cool meant that you had a boyfriend – so that’s what I wanted.  Being “cool” meant that I had to be someone other than who I was.

I didn’t think I was the prettiest girl, or the funniest, or the smartest, or the most athletic.  In fact, I didn’t think anything much of myself at all.  Everyone seemed to do things better, say things better and look better.

Perhaps that’s why I loved drama so much.  I could put on an act and pretend to be anyone other than myself.

I was so caught up in who I needed to be, and who I thought everyone else wanted me to be – that I actually had no idea who I was.

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This pattern continued well into my 20s.  A lack of connection to myself.   All the importance was placed on the opinions of others.

When any attention is good attention, you know that there is so much pain underneath those layers of bravado, and that flippant “I don’t care” attitude.

Because I did care.  I cared more than anyone could imagine.  I felt like I needed to scream.  I wanted to much to be seen.  I wanted to be seen for who I really was – but how could I let myself be seen when I so lost?

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If you said jump, I’d say how high.  If you said drink it, I’d say how many.  If you said let’s go out, I’d already have my shoes on.  I didn’t value myself, why should you?

I didn’t think.  I just did.  I did it to forget.  I did it to remember.  I did it to numb.  I did it to feel confident.  I did it to please.  I did it for fun.  I did because I thought that’s what I needed to do to belong.

I was still that young little girl.  I was still so caught up in what other people thought of me.

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battle

I remember I used to come home from a night out, and the next morning I would recall all the stupid things I did or said.  “I could have done that better”.  “I should have said that instead”.  “Perhaps I should have looked a little more like this…”  I will try better next time, I’d say.

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I don’t recall the day, and I would have no idea what I was wearing.  But I remember the feeling.  Freedom.  Elation.  Power.  Joy.  I finally got it.  I was, and always will be enough.  I didn’t need to seek outside myself anymore.  I had it already.  I was loved.  I was love.

Suddenly all those crazy, beautiful quirks I kept trying to hide, all those boxes I was trying to fit into – they were shattered.  I no longer needed to hide inside a box.  I certainly didn’t need to wear a mask.  That aching void was filled with love, compassion, gratitude and acceptance.

I accepted me.  I didn’t need anyone else to anymore.

I looked in the mirror.  “I love you Amelia.  I really do.”  And as a tear streamed down my face, I realised that I no longer needed to try.  I was home.

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We don’t need to try.  We just need to be.  To explore every avenue of who we already are.  Because inside us, are the beautiful snippets of wisdom that you’ve always been searching for.  Inside you is all you will ever need.

We don’t need to fit in.  We don’t need to try to stand out.  We don’t need to be anything more or less than anyone else.  We just need to trust in everything we already are, and to listen to that gentle, nurturing voice inside us that says “you are enough”.

It’s there.  Let it be heard.  Empower that voice to empower you.  Let it grow, let it shine.

You are magnificent.

The words above are excerpts from my upcoming ebook (the name is still in the pipeline!).  If you’re like to be the first to know it’s release date, I’d love for your to join my beautiful tribe of newsletter subscribers.  No spam, just pure love filled notes sent to your inbox each week. 

And if you resonated with this post, I’d love for you to share it.  

The experience vs the feeling – which one are you chasing?

Posted on: Thursday, July 31, 2014

You are scrolling through one of your favourite blogs, and you come across a post by one of your wellness sisters.  She just got back from an life-changing trip overseas.  “I am changed.  I am open.  I am free.”, she writes.

“I need to book a trip just like that”, you say to yourself as you reach for your credit card.

Beautiful, what I want to ask you today is – are you chasing the experience or the feeling?  What truly feels authentic for YOU?

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Ultimately, we can never chase the same experience had by another person.  Because they are them, and you are you.  That is their journey, this is yours.  And even if you did do the exact same thing – it still wouldn’t be the same.

Absolutely, there are going to be times when taking inspiration from another person’s journey is exactly the thing you need.  The syncronicities will line up perfectly.  You will feel your soul nodding in agreement.  And you’ll know.  But you will also be able to acknowledge that while you may be heading to the same place, you are on a very different path.

On the other hand, when you feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day/dollars in the bank, to do all the holidays/courses that you have on your giant list – gently ask yourself – is it possible that I am chasing this experience to deter from the fact that another area of my life may be a little out of balance?  

Are you searching externally for something, when instead you should be turning inward? 

We’ve all been there.  Chasing a dream that doesn’t really belong to us – simply because, it sounded AMAZING!  And it was amazing… for them.

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The important thing to remember is, if you listen to your heart, you will always be guided in the right direction.  I’m not saying don’t go to the same place as someone else you admire, I’m just asking you to before you book that next big trip, or max your credit card out on yet another course – bring yourself back to your heart space and ask yourself if this is truly something that is authentic for you.

Authenticity is YOU.  Living your life, for you.  You deserve to experience life at it’s absolute max.  Expand your soul and invite experiences into your world that are going to nourish you in every way.

Above all, TRUST in your intuition and the path you are on.  And know that those feelings you are chasing, are the right ones.

With so much love and gratitude,
Amelia xx

**As mentioned in the video, you can read about Tara’s beautiful LA experience here. x

Nurturing Me, Nurturing You : Nat Kringoudis

Posted on: Thursday, July 17, 2014

“Nurturing Me, Nurturing You” is a series of interviews with the women who inspire me to inspire you.  

These are the women I draw inspiration from, the women who are out there shining their light on the world and the teachers who empower me (and you) with their words each and every day.  They are all trailblazers in their own way and I am so grateful to have them here at this space.

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NatKringo

What can I say about this incredible woman?  She is a true trailblazer in EVERY sense of the word.  Nat Kringoudis is on one hell of a mission – to ensure woman of all ages are educated and empowered to make informed decisions about their bodies and hormone health.  Where was this angel during Personal Development class all those years ago?!

Nat is instrumental is supporting women to understand their bodies and overall health.  She truly is leading the way with such authenticity and honesty, which allows conversations about menstruation, fertility and hormones – which used to be considered off-limits – to be organic and free-flowing rather than feared or something to be ashamed of.

And if that’s not enough, this happy hormone revolutionist also has a hard-copy book on the way (yay!), is a beautiful Mum of two and leads a team of talented TCM practitioner’s at her clinic The Pagoda Tree in Melbourne.  Plus – she’s ridiculously funny and is an all round super boss (I manage Nat’s social media).  Nat Kringoudis – you inspire the pants off me.

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♥  You are out there inspiring so many people each day, but who or what inspires you?
Ahh well – I’m inspired by others – be it my audience, my colleagues and friends and family!  My love language is affirmations, so every time I receive feedback and praise for the information I share – it makes my heart sing so very much.  I really am motivated by seeing the delight on other peoples faces as we take the fear out of ‘fertility’ and reconnect women with their bodies.  I want this stuff to be seen in a new light and so I plan to continue on my mission to help women understand themselves on a new level.

♥  What is your big dream?
It’s time to go global baby!  My dream is to not only be a household name in Australia but to inspire people world wide about hormonal health and wellness.  That’s said – I’m kinda living the dream!

♥  Is there one significant moment you can pinpoint, where you knew that you wanted to take control of your health and wellbeing?
It has and will continue to evolve each and every day – but I remember turning to my mum one day and saying to her exactly these words – “mum, you know someday I’m going to be known for making a difference in this world.  I want to be the girl that changes lives” and look – it’s happening!  That was over 10 years ago.

♥  What do you think is the most important step a person can take right now, to start loving and nurturing themselves again?
Setting 2 goals right there and then in that minute that they aim to achieve tomorrow and then adding to that each and every day.  Goal setting is by far the best way to achieve – and of course once you start, you just can’t stop!!

♥  What does the term “being healthy” mean to you?
All round wellness – it isn’t a stop and start effort.  Of course we are all human but for me diet and lifestyle is the foundation for wellness.  If you can tick boxes there, the rest follows suit.  After all you can’t have fertile soil without nourishing it – your body is no different.  Soil has to be nurtured, fed, turned, aired and loved, as does your body AND then when the time is right (and only then if you truly understand yourself HELLO Debunking Ovulation!!) and only then can you plant the seed and know it will flourish – because the ground work was done.  It’s pretty simple.

♥  A lot of people struggle with living in the moment, how do you stay present?
I used to live for the future – I get how tricky it can come back to the now.  But again, for me, setting the goals and achieving them whilst it helps to project the future it helps bring me back to the present moment because without that, there is no moving forward.  Plus once you love what you do – there really something that switches over and allows you to appreciate life on a new level.  In a strange way it keeps me present.

Nat

♥  What is the one song that is guaranteed to get your up on the dance floor?
Dancing on the Ceiling!  We all know how much I love Lionel.

♥  Sometimes people can get caught up in the seriousness of spirituality/personal development and forget about having fun – what do you do to ensure FUN is not forgotten?
I laugh a lot.  I laugh to myself a lot.  I do silly things and I sometimes have outrageous thoughts whilst meditating or washing the dishes – wherever.  I have to just go with the though, have a little giggle and move on.

♥  If you could invite anyone over for a little dinner party at your place, which 5 people (dead or alive) would you invite and why?
Nicole Richie – STYLE MUCH!?
Lionel Richie – we need a jam session
God – imagine picking his brain?
Ricky Martin – perve factor
Lao Tzu – I’ve some questions my text books just can’t answer!

♥  5 years from now… where are you and what are you doing?
Same same just bigger!

THE SPEEDY SIX…
♥  Favourite exercise? Bikram Yoga
♥  Favourite colour? Blue
♥  Favourite vegetable? Brocolini
♥  Favourite superfood? Coconut Butter
♥  Favourite smoothie combination? Avo, spinach, banana, coconut water, maca…
♥  What are you grateful for right now? Holidays, sunshine and family.

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Want to know more about this gorgeous woman?  For information on Nat’s two e-courses, Debunking Ovulation and Debunking PCOS, or for info on her books and upcoming events, head over to her website or you can connect with her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram @natkringoudis.

 

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